Not allowed to wear this hat anymoreI'll admit it. I used to pick on Britney, too, but damn. She made it so easy, with the head shaving, the boob-and-cooter show, the umbrella massacre, and of course, her wretched, scraggly weave. But this time the weave is innocent, or maybe we've just gotten used to it. Since she's been under conservatorship though, Britney seems to have stabilized, calmed down, even grown up a little bit. So why are the tabs picking on Britney again?
See, there's this big brouhaha going on over a new blockbuster exclusive by Star about Britney being an abused woman, allegedly at the hands (fists) of Jason Trawick, her former agent and current guy. Star claims to have proof of this alleged abuse by way of a recorded phone call between Jason Alexander, the moron she married for 55 hours, and a woman Jason claims is Britney. This alleged Britney claims that Jason beat her and that her daddy had a shotgun he was ready to let rip. Well, a bunch of audio experts analyzed this tape and said it was "stepped on, ... doctored to such a severe extent, there's no way to conduct a meaningful voice-recognition test." In other words, Jason Alexander is more than likely just plain full of shit.
Britney, for her part, is handling it all well, tweeting that she's enjoying a romantic weekend with Jason while her legal team huddles over their windfall, I mean, strategy. And just to show us that you can take the girl out of the bayou but you can't take the bayou out of the girl, Britney also tweeted this message: "PS Star Magazine, Radar Online, Jason Alexander and the rest of you liars, y'all can kiss my lily-white Southern Louisiana ass!"