She's tried everything - Kid Rock, Adrian Grenier, even some young dumb-looking model type - and nothing can replace Stavros in her heart. So what's a girl to do? Ambush, Hollywood style.
First she had to get herself all liquored up. That was easy. Except for a little misstep that exposed her ass flaps to the world yet again, Paris was loaded and ready for action. 
Oopsie Daisy
To the wall! "Mama Niarchos isn't going to stop me this time," Paris may have muttered. "If she gets in my way I swear I'll wax her moustache myself." And off she cantered on her extra-large feet, cloppity-clop, cloppity-clop. Another shot for good luck and she hit that wall running, not even caring that about 40 paparazzi were gathered around, snapping away. 
Like a spider with bugs inside herSadly, Paris didn't make it, and had to hang on the fence until morning, when Mama Niarchos knocked her down with a tree trimmer. Better luck next time, Paris. Maybe you can dig a tunnel.
