Nobody will believe him anywayHell, he probably won't make it across the street without some kind of convenient accident. Doesn't he know who he's messing with? If he's smart, he'll tuck his tail between his legs and go ... but he never struck me as a Rhodes scholar type.
This week's National Enquirerincludes a shocking development in the increasingly acrimonious split between the long-time "lovers". The Oprah-philes always swore these two would get married; I think Stedman was simply a convenient beard for her discreet yet deeply intimate relationship with her girlfriend Gayle. Maybe now that it's cool to "come out", they decided he had outlived his usefulness. Gayle and Oprah could practically finish each other's sentences, and often trade long, deeply meaningful glances. Stedman couldn't compete with their closeness, but was sure handy getting things off high shelves and changing light bulbs.
The Enquirer also hints at Stedman exposing Oprah's "secret drug use". I'm sorry, but I'd suspect Queen Elizabeth of huffing air freshener before I thought Oprah could even so much as blow a doobie. She's far too self-righteous for recreational drugs.
Will Stedman live to tell his tawdry tale? Or will he be found dead in the bathtub with a toaster shoved up his ass? - plugged in, of course. The queen of daytime TV will suffer no betrayal. Homeboy better zip his lip and slip off into the night while he's still able.
