Just turn your head and coughHe can run a successful airline. He founded a prepaid cellphone dynasty. But did you know that Richard Branson can also perform a thorough yet gentle pelvic exam? He thinks so, and hey, when you've got as much money as Branson does, that's all that matters.
It was kind of scary there for a while. Richard went through three pairs of latex gloves; they either got sucked in or immediately vaporized. He finally got himself some heavy-duty oven mitts and that seemed to do the trick. Just when he was ready to kick back and enjoy a few cocktails, the sound of someone gasping for air could be heard across the room. It was Carmen Electra, trying to glom down a mouthful of vienna sausages when the paps weren't looking. Because he's British, Richard wasn't familiar with the Heimlich Maneuver, but that didn't stop him. He simply picked her up, fireman-style, and jumped up and down a few times. Carmen tucked her ample bosom back into her dress and thanked Richard for saving her a trip to the loo to purge. He deserves a medal or something, doesn't he?
Breathe, dammit! Breathe!
