Threats to national securityHaven't heard of it yet? It's simple. Eat all the seamen you want and never gain a pound. It's llike the seafood diet only stickier. Eww.
In the real world neither woman would be allowed to enlist. Paris would be denied because of all the STD's she's been sharing around - one good seafaring journey and the entire fleet could be immobilized. Lauren Conrad probably couldn't pass the physical either - she'd never make it through the obstacle course without tripping over her beef curtains. Ahoy, mateys!
