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Spencer Pratt Stages Felonious Assault In Club In Desperate Attempt To Save The Hills' Ratings

Don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry.This just doesn't make sense in any other context. Spencer is not one of those overprotective big brothers driven to violence to protect his little sister's honor. The only thing that could provoke him would be a threat to his livelihood. He'll do anything to avoid becoming a dentist like his daddy.

This season ratings for The Hills have been sliding. Nothing Speidi does can seem to counter that, not even exposing their archrival LC (you know, the one with the BC) as a backstabbing douche-f***er. Even the Obama shirts raised barely an eyebrow.

There was only one thing to do: shed some blood. Maybe if those last five Hills fans worry that their favorite phonies are in danger they'll watch the show again. But who? As much as he'd like, he can't hit Heidi. Her mom would kick his ass. Not Audrina, either - her dead eyes just freak him out. Luckily for Spencer, a non-threatening target appeared: Cameron Huston, his sister's ex. He must be a real lightweight if Spencer can make him bleed. Either that or he's desperate for cash.

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